I found this online so i decided to post it to help all the ukes so here is uke survival 101


Uke Survival 101:

1. Doctors always do perverted things to their patients. Don't trust them.

2. All co-workers are gay for you. The one being friendly? Definitely. The one ignoring you? Uh-huh. The one who glares at you non-stop? Probably out to rape you. The workplace is a sexually charged environment!

3. High schools are dangerous, too. Everyone's gay for you. Students, teachers , school doctors ... only the old cleaning lady might be straight of coures that only means shes after you to.

4. Don't trust guys in uniforms, whether they're high school, military or police. Uniforms are a threat to your chastity.

5. Aprons are guaranteed instant-erection makers, even if you're not into guys. ...ESPECIALLY if you're not into guys serously NEVER wear a apron.

6. Do not pick up any "strays". You think you're being a good samaritan, but they'll refuse to move out, and then you're stuck with an extra mouth to feed. And oh, you'll probably end up discovering you're gay.

7. Your first love LASTS FOREVER. Doesn't matter if it was ten years ago, you just can't forget this guy. (Take the hint don't let love go)

8. If you're an uke, you are destined to blush. A lot. Doesn't matter how old you are, doesn't matter how COLD you are, if your seme says anything remotely romantic, if your seme looks at you, if your seme thinks about you, you're gonna start a full-body blush.

9. All American males, gay straight or otherwise, greet each other with a big passionate smooch on the mouth- it's just friendly!

10. During a bout of sex, ukes are always naked (socks optional), and semes are almost always fully clothed.

11. Women are just pretty office ornaments. Despite the hoards of sexy and cute office ladies around, as long as there are two men working in one department, they'll end up together. (Boss=Seme and Subordinate=Uke).

12. It's impossible to "switch it up". Once an uke, forever an uke. Forget ever topping. Semes may love their ukes a LOT, but not enough to bottom.

13. Everybody in the entire world has gay inclinations. Have a high school crush on somebody of the same gender? Go ahead, confess! If he doesnt feel the same way about you already, he'll soon be swayed by the depth of your feelings.

14. Semes stay hard. Doesnt matter how many times or how exhausted the uke is, its time for the next round.

15. Ukes are world champions on getting teary-eyed (this is, of course, to emphasize a quintessential uke trait: vulnerability).

16. Seme's belive the cure to everything is rape sex. Poor uke has the sniffles? Sex! The uke has a broken leg? Sex! The uke just got raped? SEX! If we could package it and sell it as a cure-all, we could be millionaires.

17. Semes love semen. Every single one of them loves giving their uke a blowjob and guzzling it down. It a great way to make your seme happy! Ukes, on the other hand cant be expected to dirty themselves like that.

18. Be warned 90% of the male population from 10-40 is gay. The remaining 10 still hasnt come out.